As a long-term single person, doing things solo has become a practice for me. I have friends, family (by blood relation and from church) that I hang with on a regular basis, but I’ve never really shied away from participating in activities where one table or seat is just enough. My cousin Jacque said years ago that when she travels or goes out without a companion, she knows that when she’s fed, everyone is fed. She likes the fact that she doesn’t have to consult with someone else before picking a place to shop, eat or browse. I also grew up my mother’s only child so my imagination was my friend when there were no neighbors to play with or the weather was bad outside. I remember one day reading to my dolls on my bed and pretending we were all on a boat together. Reading books that took me to faraway places made me feel alive and never, ever lonely.
Just like anyone else, companionship is important to me, but I won’t wait for my friend’s schedule to be free before going to a concert or buying a movie ticket. I am a social person and make conversations with complete strangers pretty easily, but I’m able to switch gears if I want/need to. Some people think it’s strange sitting at a restaurant booth alone or watching a movie solo, but there is a different dynamic involved when there’s no one around. I notice more things around me. When I take a walk I see trees swaying, babies laughing, flowers beckoning for my gaze. If I’m always around someone, I don’t ever get a moment to see the world buzzing around me. And as a creative person, I often use scenery to ignite my imagination. One of my ways to spark my creativity is to sit at a coffee shop, listening to music while words flow from my heart…
I read an article recently citing a restaurant in Japan that seats a stuffed animal at your table if you don’t have a companion. Sounds a little ridiculous to me, but I’m sure many people would rather stay at home then take a walk, eat a dinner or visit a mall without a buddy. Why are some people so uncomfortable doing everyday things by themselves? I think sometimes if you’ve never had to walk the journey of singlehood for long periods, grew up in a big family, or just need to have someone around all the time, it’s a little more difficult to understand.
So I’ll be the pioneer, the fearless adventurer who takes the road less traveled. It’s my goal to LIVE NOW. Sometimes being single for long spells can be a bit tiresome, but appreciating my company and the season I’m in is crucial for me to grow and mature. I won’t wait to dance, to taste, to savor all of life. I’m really ready for all of the amazing experiences the future has in store for me — no matter if it’s built for two or just me.