Is That A Knife In My Back?

“Not everyone means well.” Our moms and dads tell us the cautionary words in one way or another. Backstabbers. Perpetrators. Weasels. Haters. Whatever you call them, the stories become reality over the years. It happens in every facet of our lives: church, work, school and family. Sad but true your loved ones can break your heart the most. And then there are people you meet at work and school that you gel with or start a great working relationship and then BOOM! Something happens that reveals the cracks and crevices in the alliance that was truly more delicate at deeper inspection.

Think about the moments in your life where you’ve received a breakthrough, a blessing. Maybe you’ve reached another level in life. Everything is so new and exciting, but you realize there’s more to this season than meets the eye. Sometimes you unwittingly walk into an atmosphere that’s a minefield, filled with obstacles. Battles and strongholds are all around. Folks laced in lies, facades and hidden agendas. It’s almost like a fairy tale gone wrong with wolves draped in pretty dresses and pressed slacks. It’s hard to push pass the situation. At times the atmosphere is even palpable, revealing true motives and attitudes. I’ve been there. And often we just want to flee. But what if we are called there? Maybe it’s for a few months or a couple of years. I promise that if God is in the midst, you’re covered. He has your back. It doesn’t mean you won’t suffer some persecution or rejection, but you’ll see His hand lifting you up and showing Himself faithful. You can feel pretty weak and wondering if you can take much more, but if you keep your heart next to God’s and acknowledge Him in each situation, you’ll find yourself living past those moments. You’ll see yourself breathing through it.

All of us are laboring, pregnant with purpose — but what are we feeding ourselves in the period of gestation? We are all giving birth to something — good and bad. Of course it’s easy to commit to fruitless things and become horrified at the results we’ve produced. While the harder, heavier, weightier things are more difficult to endure. Too often we abandon the process and allow the dreams and promises to die in our arms. But if we can just press in, while focusing on the Author of our lives, we will find ourselves on the other side — better, stronger, wiser, giving birth to destiny and purpose. Don’t give up on desires God’s put in your heart. It truly is not over. Challenges will come. That’s life. People will be unfriendly, hostile, insensitive, but it only matters who’s on your side. He has a perfect plan for our lives and we owe it to God and ourselves to see it through to the other side. Let’s dig in. This song has inspired me over the years. Hope you enjoy!

The Evolution of Friendships

Friendships are a tricky thing, aren’t they? As a child we could make friends in two minutes, but just as our lives have become more complex, so are our relationships as we grow and mature into adulthood. Friends we swore allegiance to in high school are sometimes just a faint and and fond memory while some friendships from grade school are still going strong.

It’s been a joyful and sometimes painful journey through my friendships, as I am sure many of you can attest to. Some relationships are like a cactus plant — a little watering goes a long way. And then there are others more like flowers — needing plenty of water, pruning and TLC to be maintained. I have some friends I can go months without talking to and we can pick right back up where we were. Then there are others that if not tended to, weeds begin to flourish and choke the life out of the bond shared. It’s never really a “one size fits all” for relationships.

Not every friendship is meant to be for a lifetime. Those “seasonal” relationships meet a need that’s sometimes temporary for both parties. For me there have been quite a few “seasonal” friendships. Some seasons are longer than others, but definitely fulfill a purpose for both people. It’s not always clear when the season passes, but even in the not knowing, there is certainly a life lesson to be learned. Each connection we share with others is as unique as a thumbprint. It’s custom-made. And sometimes, like shoes, they sometimes have to be discarded. Either because of lack of support, it’s no longer a good fit, or the style is not truly timeless. It outwore its functionality because it simply did not stay in touch with the environment surrounding it.

Many markers for a relationship happen with life’s milestones or transitions: a move, illness, marriage, a baby, divorce, etc. Sometimes that can be the death knell for friends, but it doesn’t always mean a relationship is over. Many times it just means the tone and tenor of the friendship has changed. And like a band with a new song, it takes some adjustments from the “players” to work in harmony together again. Work is necessary for all types of relationships to succeed. I met my friend Crystal almost six years ago. We have been there for each other through many life moments — joyous and painful. We’ve laughed, cried, praised, and danced through it all. I thank God for her and all the friends I have ever been blessed with. Not sure what the future holds for any of us, but I am grateful for them all and what we have taught each other.

Me (left) and my girl Crystal (right)