I was awkward and shy growing up. Okay, I’m still awkward and pretty shy now, but now I’ll just say I’m a little introverted and quirky. Those are the grown-up euphemisms I use now. Bookish by nature, you’d find me engrossed in a nice piece of fiction or watching a romantic PBS mini-series with my mom. But like any other kid in the 80s, I also watched The Cosby Show, the A Team and The Jeffersons. I never had fly style as a teenager. Every once in awhile, I rocked a cute outfit because of my little mall rat job, but my hair was very rarely professionally done until college. When I started school at Marygrove College, I experimented with wearing my own curly texture and have adopted that style for most of my life now. And I was a late bloomer when it came to dating, getting my own place, having my own computer, etc. It’s just a recurring theme God has running through my life. But I’m glad I didn’t run out of steam early, looking back at my high school and time in college as my “golden years.” I didn’t peak early so I’ve lived a life of slow blossom. Sometimes I’ve kicked away at that scenario but after really only stubbing my toe, I’ve had to cut that out — for the most part.
So now as I’ve reached my 40th year on the planet, I’ve quite settled into myself. Though I am adept at being okay with “me,” I’ve had my struggles with where I find myself and learning to make peace with the change of seasons, relationships and the situations that appear to be immovable. Public speaking is still a bit of a phobia to me and I’m just glad when I can spit out some semi-intelligent words in a professional group setting. But I don’t starve for the attention from others that happens from having a great car, a beautiful wardrobe or the perfect man. I don’t envy those in their 20s just beginning their journeys into adulthood. I know more, lived a little and have much more to see from life but without the filter of being that wide-eyed young woman I used to be. I’ve got scars, some parables of my own to tell and love for God and who He’s been to me through it all. I’m learning to live at the pace of His grace. ❤