attraction, balanced life, beliefs, chemistry, children, companionship, compatible, control freak, date, dating, friendship, incompatible, love, marriage, men, red flags, relationship, romance, serious relationship, surefire signs, values, warning signs, women
Dating can definitely be an adventure. Some moments are sweet and others just downright sour. Couldn’t we all use a little help navigating the journey? So I took some time to pull together some surefire signs it may be time to look elsewhere for a partner. Honestly, some of these tips are either based on personal experience or observations of people in my sphere — friends, coworkers, family, etc.
The Creeper — Okay, I’ll put my own experience out there for this one. So it started off innocently enough. I met this guy at Borders, and he asked me for my number. He was a nice-looking man who seemed nice and polite. So I gave it to him. We went to the movies and nothing out of the ordinary happened. At some point in conversation, I mentioned my future plans for going to a coffee shop for a poetry reading — alone. After I went, the guy told me he saw me there. He never came into the building but saw me through the window and correctly described to me what I wore. Ding, ding, ding! The dude was lightweight stalking me! Suffice it to say, I never talked to him again. Anybody who shows up where you are unannounced and possibly undetected means you no good.
Leftover Lover — Some folks don’t know when to let go and have a balanced life. There are some people that have unhealthy attachments to people or things (i.e., family members, a job or other obligations) and it’s nearly impossible for them to be emotionally present. If you always feel like you are always put on the back burner and not a priority, it’s time to seriously consider moving on. You can have a conversation about it, make your feelings known and see if anything changes, but more than likely this person is not ready to contemplate a serious relationship.
Control Freak — This person doesn’t want to let you out of his sight for a minute. While hanging out with friends more than likely this guy wants to dominate your attention and often wants to ditch the crew early. Be careful he doesn’t begin to alienate you from friends and family and you feel dependent on him for all your needs. Often this is a precursor for abusive behavior.
Mr. Almost Right — So you meet an attractive goal-oriented guy going to school or with a great career. He has a great sense of humor, the conversation is great and the chemistry is so on point. But…your values are not the same. Whether its spiritual beliefs, family goals or political affiliation — the very thing you ignore can become an anchor weighing down the relationship. If your beliefs are very important to you, serious consideration needs to be made regarding a relationship that can cause serious heartache down the road.
Drama King — Guys can be just as insecure as women, but they may express it differently. He may put you or himself down in subtle ways, undermine your dreams or blame you for things that are his fault. Or avoid dealing with wounds from the past. He can be very sensitive but avoids admitting he has any feelings. Or he can dangerously resemble a lit powder keg — ready to explode at any minute. This man could use some counseling and spiritual guidance more than a woman in his life. Run FAST.
Baggage Handler — Baby mama drama. Shady associates. Sky-high debt. Old girlfriends are still calling him. Even his family is giving you the Why-Are-You-With-Him? look. This guy is just trouble. Stay away — period.
Any of the guys sound familiar? You may have met someone fitting one or more of the descriptions above. Of course this is not an exhaustive list, but overall we know when the person we are dating is not a good fit. It may take a little time to come to the conclusion, but lingering in a so-so situation makes you unavailable for the right person. Keep it moving until the man meant for you comes into your life.